I betrayed the world

Is the world betray me, I betrayed the world
Has hung up, the whole afternoon to concentrate to do things, maypoiklike what is concerned about the heart like, not quiet.
Finally did, thought that he could not bear to hurt others, but eventually did so! Hurt all love me and purposeful contact me.
Eventually left to themselves or the dark hole! Sometimes feel very real, I am not able to really meet any man, afraid of being someone through your inner world, although very hard to hide it, but ultimately can't own heart that hom!

Especially of a fear of being alone feeling, be afraid everybody leave me, do not want to be separated into heterogeneous, afraid of being abandoned, afraid of family, afraid of sleeping alone, because of nightmares, want to go back to the past, because of the small time there will be many people hurt, so as not to fear being emptied feeling, but why, why is everything happen to me?

Sometimes you feel selfish and hypocritical, a pair of NIMBY. Sometimes very stupid, tears easily, always feel that their hearts are cold, but one day I summed up, I found that it is easy for others to do the things people moving.

Sometimes also feel very cold, even to herself the act recklessly and care for nobody hurt yourself, don't feel pain.

Sometimes I feel very sick, once thought that hurt to their own more pleasure, always holding a cigarette in his hand on the hot of a scar!

Another morning is still my a person sitting in front of the computer, feel the body is very cold, with his left hand was clenched in his right hand, warm, but feels empty heart, suddenly thought of the initial joy is where?

Had a dream last night, has never done such a dream," dream of standing on a high cliff, looking ahead is the sea another sky, the sky is blue, the wind is warm, but the heart is very cold! I'm a black suit barefoot on it, suddenly like eagle, fly to jump, in that moment, the feeling of the heart was released, that moment seems to really have a pair of wings, flying freely in the sky! But as he sobered up, everything is just a dream, like because it is a dream, Zhibu Zhu's tears stream down! I always feel this world 's not fair to me, everybody knows, want to get someone else's return, we must first pay, but I paid, why is it is sad.

I always a person standing in front of a mirror, tellyourself awake, not every day use the mask to treat others, but I am afraid of again with the real faces toward others when they return to their own harm.

I had read too many novels and dramas, everyone will have a happy ending, but I just want a good ending, do not seek perfection, I all can not such as I wish!